It’s late evening. 🌙✨
The solar-powered lantern flickers inside their makeshift shelter, casting long, dancing shadows across patched walls and salvaged gear. 🔦🏚️
Ivy Mae flips slowly through an old survival manual 📖—pages worn, corners curled—while Jas rummages through a chaotic stack of rescued papers. 📚🗞️
Suddenly—
Jas bursts out laughing. 😂
Jas (holding up a yellowed newspaper triumphantly):
“Okay… this has to be fake.” 🤨📰
Ivy Mae (glancing up, half-curious):
“What now?” 😏
Jas (clearing throat dramatically, reading aloud):
“Canadian Dollar Hits $4.44 USD! Alberta Buys Montana! U.S. Tourists Forced to Work for Maple Syrup!” 🍁💰🇨🇦
Ivy Mae (eyebrow shooting up):
“Wait… WHAT?!” 😳
Jas smooths out the fragile paper carefully, like it might disintegrate in their hands. 🫧
The date reads:
📅 April 2050
The article—published by The Maple Standard 📰—goes all in:
- Trump’s 2025 tariffs backfired spectacularly 📉💥
- The Canadian dollar skyrocketed 🚀
- Alberta… apparently bought Montana 🤯🗺️
- The Tragically Hip became mandatory listening in schools 🎸🎶
- And U.S. citizens…
were mowing Canadian lawns in exchange for Tim Hortons gift cards ☕🍩😂
Ivy Mae (laughing, shaking her head):
“There is no way this actually happened.” 🤦♀️🤣
Jas (grinning, eyes sparkling):
“But what if it did?” 👀✨
They both slowly turn to Roman. 😏
He’s leaning back against a stack of old gear, arms crossed, completely silent. 🧓🛠️
Ivy Mae (teasing):
“Hey Roman… you were, what—fifteen back in 2025? You remember this?” 😄
Roman, now 75, furrows his brow thoughtfully. 🤔
He takes his time. A long pause. ⏳
Then sighs… dramatically. 😮💨
Roman (completely deadpan):
“Yeah. Wild times.” 😐
Jas snorts. Ivy Mae leans in. 😂
Roman (continuing, serious as ever):
“I had to shovel driveways for weeks just to afford a single American dollar.” 💵❄️
He shakes his head.
“And don’t even get me started on the New Calgary situation.” 😶🌫️🏙️
Silence.
One beat.
Two.
Jas and Ivy Mae stare at him… then completely lose it. 🤣🤣🔥
Ivy Mae (laughing):
“STOP—no way! New Calgary?!” 😂
Jas (wiping tears):
“Okay, okay—but imagine someone actually believing this was real.” 😆
Roman smirks slightly, tossing a stick into the fire. 🔥🪵
Sparks rise into the night. ✨
Roman:
“Who says they didn’t?” 😏
The fire crackles. 🔥
Shadows flicker across the old newspaper resting on Jas’s knee. 📰
An absurd relic.
From a world that may…
or may not have been. 🌎🌀😶🌫️